I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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