I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
