i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
