I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
