life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
