I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
