So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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