Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
