ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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