Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
