Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
this boner is exhausting
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
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I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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