dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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