D3 body, D1 cock
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
