Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
