He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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