Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
