I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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