Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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