Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize