he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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