he shaved USA in his pubs
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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