Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
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