This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
