you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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