do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
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and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.