It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
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Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece