just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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