he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize