Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?

(206): View more from Washington

only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.

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(661): View more from California

I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight

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(330): View more from Ohio

I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.

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