i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.