She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize