It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
