How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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