It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
