The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
