Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
