Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize