The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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