Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
