Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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