Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
