I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
