My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
