In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
