Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
