and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
