He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
