I think i peed on brittanys purse
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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