My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
