i love accidental penises.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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