His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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