How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
