When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
