I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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