i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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