He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
