The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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