Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize