apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
