WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize