420 ftw
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We have started to decorate penises.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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