he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
