Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
